A couple of years ago, just before Jaimie’s diagnosis, we were given a wonderful movie called, Pooh’s Grand Adventure. I’ve always loved Winnie the Pooh movies because they are filled with hope, love, friendship and other important life lessons presented in a gentle, kind way. In this particular movie, a quote from Christopher Robin always sticks out in my mind:

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”

That seemed to be just the right phrase for a “sensational” child. In fact, I wrote that phrase out, framed it and hung it in Jaimie’s room. I read it to her on the days she struggles the most. I don’t think I fully appreciated these words, though, until recently.

A couple of weeks ago, my son, Xander, was officially diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. Now, the diagnosis itself wasn’t a shock for me. I’ve known since he was born—as I had with Jaimie—that he had issues. It was the severity and complexity of Xander’s issues that shocked me.

My little guy, in addition to his sensory issues, has many developmental delays. His situation is complex because his therapists aren’t sure what is causing which delays or even what the base problem is. He’s going to need a tremendous amount of therapy and assessments until we figure out how to truly help him. I knew he struggled but not to this degree. I cried as the OT and Psychologist explained to me that we’ll have a long road with him. The road for Jaimie’s journey has been a long, bumpy one; in fact, we still have a long way to go. And now my beautiful boy has begun a journey of his own—and I have be there with them both .

Was I strong enough to handle two “sensational” kids? How could I bear starting all over again, not only finding Xander’s “happy equilibrium” but balancing it with Jaimie’s? And would I be able to cope with both of their very high needs while giving mommy love to my other two beauties? For two days I walked around in a daze wondering how on earth I could do it then I walked into our occupational therapist’s office the first day of Xander’s therapy and I felt like a balloon that had been deflated.

Suddenly it dawned on me: I had already been “doing it”:

You are braver than you believe: I already had all the information under my belt with what we’d gone through with Jaimie. I read books, did research, interviewed experts, spoke up, reached out and advocated. I’m already miles ahead in Xander’s journey because I was brave enough to pound the pavement and get help for Jaimie, even when people wouldn’t listen to us.

You are stronger than you seem: I’m a firm believer that we aren’t given any more than we can handle. I never thought about “I don’t know if I can…” I just did. I’ve never seen myself as “strong”, merely doing what had to be done. That’s what we “sensational” caregivers do. Even on those really tough days filled with sensory meltdowns, people who don’t understand our kids, fighting just to get our kids their basic needs met, we move forward. We have to. I had already been coping with Jaimie’s SPD, her therapy, the school system, teaching her teachers how to teach her and her friends how to befriend her. And those experiences, and the steel-strong mini-support system I have in place, make me strong enough to help Xander and Jaimie and my other two children.

You are smarter than you think: Everything I went through with Jaimie helped me to “see” that Xander’s struggles were more than him copying his older sister. It helped me know the right people to talk to in order to get on the path with the shortest red tape—and a lot sooner than it had been for Jaimie. I knew, despite not being believed (again!) that Xander was having more than just a “little speech problem he’ll get over” and to get going as early as possible to help him. I was smart enough not to allow the same barriers we had with Jaimie jump in front of us with Xander.

The most positive thing—if you want to look at it this way—about our situation today is that because we have two children with such high needs, we finally qualify for assistance, funding and resources we couldn’t access before. It saddens me that we’d gone so long with basically nothing for Jaimie—we did it all on our own. But now I can help both of my children. And that’s phenomenal.

I’m out of my daze now and feeling much more positive about our situation. I’ll keep moving forward on each of my children’s “sensational” journeys, with my other two children alongside us. No, it’s not going to be easy. Yes, I do anticipate there being many more bumps and hurdles along the way but we can handle it. And so can you because you are braver than you believe; you are stronger than you seem; and smarter than you think.

(If you don’t believe me, just talk to that silly old bear!)

CHYNNA TAMARA LAIRD lives in Edmonton, Alberta with her partner, Steve, and their three daughters [Jaimie (seven), Jordhan (five), and baby Sophie (twenty-one months)] and baby boy, Xander (three). Her passion is helping children and families living with Sensory Processing Disorder and other special needs.

Her publications include the children’s book (I’m Not Weird, I Have SPD), a memoir (Not Just Spirited: A Mom’s Sensational Journey With SPD) and a reference book about the Sensory Diet (coming January 2011).  Visit Chynna’s website at www.lilywolfwords.ca, as well as her blog at www.lilywolfwords.blogspot.com.

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